Though unworthy, God gave all, to rescue me from the fall,
By his grace and will I stand, awaiting peace in Beulah land,
There a home prepared for me, where his glory I shall see,
No more this life and earth to roam, at long last welcomed home,
Loved ones stand, arms opened wide, together forever we will abide,
In my Father’s radiant love, songs of angels from above,
On my knees before my king, with the hosts, his praises sing,
No more heartaches, no more pain, to live is Christ, to die is gain.
~B.Vaughn~

Angel tears

God has blessed me with the ability to put the thoughts of my heart into words. I for so long have kept that gift silent. I believed myself to be unworthy to articulate in any fashion what I felt. I have just recently come to understand that every good and perfect gift comes from God and if it is used to glorify the giver rather than the receiver then it is selfish and irresponsible not to share it. So with that let me offer this :
The Angel’s Tears
The star shown bright on that first Christmas night,
All angels in heaven sang their hymns with delight.
A message they bring for all that will hear,
An anthem of love, peace, and good cheer.
A child was born with good news for all,
The gift of life for those who answer his call.
One little angel with hope in its heart,
Watched o’er the child from the very start,
Keeping vigil while he grew to be a man,
As he glorified his father throughout the land.
Until one mournful day when he hung up on the cross,
Giving his life to save the world from loss.
One little angel rolled the stone away,
To receive a risen savior on that wondrous day.
One little angel viewed the world in sin and strfe,
Refusing the gift for which his Lord gave his life.
One little angel watched as lost souls began to die,
One little angel with a tear in its eye.
B.Vaughn (2014)

Sometimes things happen, and I don’t understand why, I bow my head before heaven, with labored tears I cry,
I know dear Lord you told me, you’d not give more than I can bear, but this burden that I carry, sure seems like I’m headed there,
I need your love, I need your strength, I need your peace of mind, I have searched within myself and only remnants can I find,
Beyond my understanding, beyond this pain I feel, I put my trust in you sweet Lord as my wounded heart you heal.
~B.Vaughn~

There comes a point in a man’s life when he surveys the impact that he has had thus far. That point for me came some time ago, and I weighed myself in the balance and was found wanting.
By the grace of God I had the opportunity to make great changes in myself, and although that change was difficult and slow, I have never regretted making those changes and look forward with great anticipation to making further changes in the future.
It is my belief that our lives consists of a series of changes, some are for the better, some are not, but through wisdom we learn, or at least should learn to separate the wheat from the chaff and discard those things that are unprofitable to our prosperity.
To my friends who have remained faithful to me through the years in spite of the wrong decisions that I have made and the pain I have caused, I say thank you, I owe you a great deal of gratitude.
To my children, who have endured the worst years of my life, I offer to you my humble apologies, and I purpose in my heart to be a much better father at the end of my life than I was at the beginning of yours.
To my God, everything that is good and decent in my life has been by your hand, and I pray that you will continue to mold me that I may mend the broken places in me and become a good and faithful servant.
It is not always that a man must enter the Winter of his life to gain wisdom and understanding, only the few hard headed such as myself.
~B.Vaughn~

Sunset

I sat atop a slight little hill and cast my eyes o’er the silent and still,
As the sun began to set, what I beheld I will not soon forget,
No artists canvas nor poets line could capture the beauty that was mine,
In awesome splendor with infinite hue, softly, God painted a miraculous view,
Although this sight was breathtaking to me, it pales in comparison to what heaven must be,
I bowed my head, my heart full of love, thanksgiving I gave to my Father above,
I thought as daylight began to fade, surveying the wonder his hands had made,
How insignificant I presumed myself to be, yet he created this beauty for me.
~B.Vaughn~

Prosperity

Things happen for a reason, we may be clueless at the time, those old friends we haven’t seen in ages suddenly appear without reason or rhyme,
We do not imagine there is a purpose, we accept it as by chance, as though the music that before was silent, inspires us once more to dance,
Ponder this for a moment, let it permeate your soul, not one heartbeat or breath taken is beyond God’s control,
He has a plan for each one of us, and lovingly prepares the way, we can let him lead in to the future, or be held back by yesterday,
Give in to his guidance, let foolish notions go, on bended knee seek his wisdom, his will then we may know.
~B.Vaughn~

Struggles

Oh heart, why do you hurt so, why do your arrows sting, when all I seek is happiness, why sadness do you bring,
While a smile adorns my face, within is tumultuous pain, when sun desires to shine, why must you bring the rain,
Tears of loneliness, tears of regret, tears with remorseful tones, tears of past and present with compassionate moans,
In every life a little rain must fall, I understand it all too well, beneath the realm of heaven, life can be such hell,
Though my eye is on the prize, the allure of the sweet by and by, the constant agony of now and now causes my soul to cry,
I will not give up, I will not give in, I refuse to live in distress, through all that seems so hopeless I search for tenderness,
Here I am, here am I, in the midst of oceans of wrong, keeping my head above water, though the current is so strong,
Flailing about in a sea of doubt, one constant remains secure, only by the grace of an omnipotent God can this survivor endure.
~B.Vaughn~

Redeemed

I try to put my past behind me, but sometimes it rears its ugly head, and when those awful memories hit me, it fills my heart with dread,
Though I know it is the past and that evil man lives no more, sometimes he stands outside, knocking on my door,
I refuse to let him in though persistent he can be, trying to derail my peace and gain a victory,
But my God has forgiven me and reminds me of his love, and sends me reassurance on the wings of a redemptive dove,
I may always be reminded of the man that I used to be, but God is always faithful to show his love for me.
~B.Vaughn~

Sand Mountain Memories

The sixties were a time of change in our country, especially in the area of Civil Rights, except in Sand Mountain. I say that because there never really was a problem there, at least that I can remember. Now in the town of Greenfield where I attended school there were remnants of inequality that had been present before my remembrance, there was a section of the city that was referred to as “colored town ” where all the black folks lived that had separate stores and church and there was a brick building across from the elementary school that had been where all the black children went to school but when I started school in 1960 our school was already integrated and that building was our music room where we played the cymbals and beat sticks against hollow wooden blocks and sang the big hits like, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and The Itsy Bitsy Spider. Two years after I started school when Greenfield finally caught up with the rest of the country and started Kindergarten that building became the Kindergarten building. Incidentally the first Kindergarten teacher, and the only Kindergarten teacher until she retired was a black lady, Mrs Reeves. In Sand Mountain though life had never changed. There were four black families that lived in our little community who were land owners and farmers I cannot remember any division between us. The first time I can remember seeing a black person (and really didn’t know he was a black person) was when I was around four years old I had gone down the road with my dad to visit this old gentleman named Ebb Dicus. I can remember sitting there with my dad while he was talking, I interrupted and exclaimed, don’t you ever take a bath? My dad was embarrassed and said “Bobby!” but old Ebb just threw his head back and laughed and said, son this here won’t wash off. As a boy my best friend was Virgil Triplett a black boy that lived across the field from us and other than his color the only difference I could tell is that his family had more money and land than we did. I used to go to Virgils house a lot to play, my mother always gave me a time to be home and I always forgot and would get home much later than I was supposed to. I can remember one such time when I got so involved in play that it began to get dark, Virgils mom hollered out the door and said, Bobby you better get home, your momma gonna be worried about you. So I started walking across the field, which was about a quarter mile, it got fairly dark and as I came to the fence that separated our properties, in a tree beside the fence I heard a growling sound, I looked up and saw a bobcat sitting on a limb. I don’t remember climbing the fence or running to my house, it seemed like one second I was looking at a bobcat and the next I was sitting in my house panting heavily. Virgils dad Homer Triplett had dairy cows and my parents bought milk from him for 50 cents a gallon, I used to walk over to get it and when I did Homer always delighted in teasing me in some way. I can remember one time I was sitting in their house with my two quarters in my hand, he said, tell you what I’ll do, I’ll give you a nickel for every quarter you can stand on its edge, so I worked and worked till I finally had both quarters standing on their edge, he reached down, picked them up and handed me two nickels. I looked at him in disbelief, he laughed and said I told you that I would give you a nickel for them. His wife who had been sitting there watching said, oh Homer give that boy his quarters back. He laughed and returned them to me. I have many pleasant memories of those days and of the Triplets.

Lord, you and I have been here before, a thousand times and probably more,
You throw the pass and I drop the ball, you help me up each time I fall,
I hope you never grow weary of me, and the things in life that I just don’t see,
The mistakes I make that cause me pain, you come along and bail me out again,
I thank you Lord for your gracious love, for your reaching down from heaven above,
Giving me all the help that I need, and listening each time I plead,
But now I ask not one thing for myself, I’m putting my needs up on the shelf,
I pray for that abandoned child, whose grief and sorrow has been compiled,
Give them comfort, give them peace, give their aching heart release,
That in every sense and in every way, they will feel your everlasting love today.
~B.Vaughn~